Disaster Relief
How to help your kids make sense in the face of the senseless tragedy in Haiti
Click to read the article
Read Further about "After Disaster" on this page |
|
| LEARNING TO FIGHT FAIR Elaborated |
| For many
of us, learning to fight fairly when emotionally upset is a challenging
experience that most people learn by trial and error and through
honest communication which often follows after the initial blowup. |
|
|
|
|
| |
|
HOW TO FOCUS
YOUR MIND ON HEALTH |
 |
| Here are some of the focus words Harvard
University's Herbert Benson suggests to elicit the relaxation response
in people of different faiths and cultures: |
| |
|
|
Protestant or Catholic: Our Father who
art in Heaven, or The Lord is my shepherd |
|
Catholic: Hail Mary, full of grace or
Jesus Christ, have mercy on me |
|
Jewish: Sh'ma Yisroel or Shalom. Also
Echod or the Lord is my shepherd |
|
Islamic: Insha'allah |
|
Hindu: Om |
|
Secular/Universal: One or ocean or love.
Also peace, or calm, or relax |
|
|
| Select or think of an appropriate word
or phrase for you personally and repeat it to yourself. As you repeat
it, passively disregard the everyday thoughts that pass through your mind. |
| |
|
| Following is the technique that Bensen
uses himself and teaches others: |
| |
|
|
Choose a focus word or phrase rooted in
your belief system |
|
Sit quietly in a comfortable position |
|
Close your eyes |
|
Relax your muscles |
|
Breathe slowly and naturally, silently
repeating your focus word or phrase |
|
Don't worry about how well you're doing.
When other thoughts pass through, let them go and continue to repeat your
focus phrase to yourself |
|
Continue for 10 to 20 minutes |
|
At the end of that time, sit quietly for
a moment, slowly letting other thoughts return. Then open your eyes and
get up slowly |
|
Practise this technique once or twice
a day |
| |
|
|
| AFTER DISASTER . . . |
|
| Steps
You Can Take to Cope in Stressful Situations |
| When
disasters such as earthquakes strike - families that have
suffered loss have experienced the following; |
 |
Increased irritability, arguments
and family discord, including domestic violence. |
|
Clinging, acting out and regressive
behavior by children. |
|
Illness and psychosomatic problems
for adults and children. |
|
Exhaustion. |
|
Decreased intimacy. |
|
Increased alcohol consumption
and/or substance abuse. |
|
Survivor's guilt. |
| |
|
| What
You Can Do For Familiy Members; |
|
Listen and empathize. A sympathetic
listener is important. |
|
Spend time with the traumatized
person. There is no substitute for personal presence. |
|
Offer assistance and sympathy.
Voiced support is critical. |
|
Re-assure children, the elderly
and even adults: they are safe. |
|
Don't tell traumatized people
that they are "lucky it wasn't worse". Such statements do
not console traumatized people. Tell them, instead that you're
sorry such an event has occurred, and that you want to understand
and assist them. |
|
Respect a family member's need
for privacy and private grief. |
| |
|
| What
You Can Do For Yourself; |
|
Physical exercise can help
relieve stress. Strenuous exercise alternated with relaxation
will help alleviate physical reactions. |
|
Remember that you're experiencing
normal reactions to an abnormal situation. |
|
Talk to people. Talk is healing
medicine. |
|
Accept support -- from loved
ones, friends and neighbors. People do care. |
|
Give yourself permission to
feel rotten. You're suffering from loss. And, it's all right
to grieve for the loss of material things. You wouldn't have
obtained them or kept them around if they didn't have some
meaning to you. |
|
When you're feeling rotten,
remember that those around you are also under stress. |
|
Don't make any big life changes
immediately. During periods of extreme stress, we all tend
to make misjudgments. |
|
Eat well-balanced, regular
meals & get rest. |
|
Be kind to yourself. |
|
If you feel the need for professional
help go online to www.therapistlocator.net or call the Ontario Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
at 1-800-267-2638 or visit their web-site at www.oamft.on.ca |
| |
|
| HELPING CHILDREN AFTER A
DISASTER |
|
A catastrophe such as an earthquake,
hurricane, tornado, fire or flood is frightening to children
and adults alike. It is important to acknowledge the frightening
parts of the disaster when talking with a child about it.
Falsely minimizing the danger will not end a child's concerns.
Several factors affect a child's response to disaster.
The way children see and understand their parents' response
is very important to them. Children are aware of their parents'
worries most of the time but they are particularly sensitive
during a crisis. Parents should admit their concerns to their
children, and also stress their abilities to cope with the
situation.
A child's reaction also depends on how much destruction he
or she sees during and after the disaster. If a friend or
family member has been killed or seriously injured, or if
the child's school or home has been severely damaged, there
is a greater chance that the child will experience difficulties.
A child's age affects how the child will respond to the disaster.
For example, six-year-olds may show their concerns about a
catastrophe by refusing to attend school, whereas adolescents
may minimize their concerns but argue more with parents and
show a decline in school performance. It is important to explain
the event in words the child can understand.
Following a disaster, people may develop Post-Traumatic Stress
Disorder (PTSD), which is psychological damage that can result
from experiencing, witnessing or participating in an overwhelmingly
traumatic (frightening) event.
Children with this disorder have repeated episodes in which
they re-experience the traumatic event. Children often relive
the trauma through repetitive play. In young children, distressing
dreams of the traumatic event may change into nightmares of
monsters, of rescuing others or of threats to self or others.
PTSD rarely appears during the trauma itself. Though its symptoms
can occur soon after the event, the disorder often surfaces
several months or even years later.
Parents should be alert to these changes: Refusal to return
to school and "clinging" behavior, shadowing the mother or
father around the house; Persistent fears related to the catastrophe
(such as fears about being permanently separated from parents);
Sleep disturbances such as nightmares, screaming during sleep
and bedwetting, persisting more than several days after the
event; Loss of concentration and irritability; Behavior problems
- for example, misbehaving in school or at home in ways that
are not typical for the child; Physical complaints (stomachaches,
headaches, dizziness) for which a physical cause cannot be
found; Withdrawal from family and friends, listlessness, decreased
activity, preoccupation with the events of the disaster.
Professional advice or treatment for children affected by
a disaster Especially those who have witnessed destruction,
injury or death -- can help prevent or minimize PTSD. Parents
who are concerned about their children can ask their pediatrician
or family doctor to refer them to a registered marriage and
family therapist or other mental health professional. To find
a registered marriage and family therapist in your area, visit www.therapistlocator.net or call the Ontario Association for Marriage and Family therapy
at 1-800-267-2638 or visit www.oamft.on.ca
For additional resources, visit www.aamft.org/resourses/Trauma |
| |
|
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
| |
|
Heather McKechnie MSW,
RSW
Registered Marriage and Family Therapist
Certified Hypnotherapist |
| |
|
| |
|
Member of the Ontario Association for Marriage & Family Therapy
Site Maintained
by Lemme & Associates Web Design |
